Trying to recall
by Fields of Summer
Summary: Harry has been charmed by obliviate. But it didn't remove just one or two memories. EVERYTHING he ever remembered has been completely wiped out. Draco suffers from depression and panic attacks. The cure for both of them is to fight the emptiness together.
1. Chapter 1

_Did we grow apart_  
_Or did we just not grow together?_

* * *

Harry opened his eyes for the first time in a very long time. He didn't feel good. Something was brushing along his skin and it was streaming into his soul. He saw darkness with a few light spots that sort of tingled in front of him. The tiny shining dots had clustered together at some places and build bodies of light. There where some streaks of color across the blackness that he liked. The scene in front of him was blurry and he couldn't tell where he was or even what he was. The horrible sensations on and inside his body were sedating him as he felt the world slowly disappearing and he could no longer see anything.

_He was lying on his back in the grass with his face towards the sky, watching the stars and the galaxies breathtakingly beautiful. While coldness and wind tugged at his body, drawing him down into the darkness, trying to fade the life so desperate inside of him._

Just as the small spots of light in front of him had faded away he felt something tingling against his leg. It woke him up of the darkness again. He struggled to stay awake as he realized he had limbs that he could move and reached towards the tingling feeling with his left hand. He felt something cold under the thin fabric of his pants. The object was vibrating. He reached into his pocket and found a small box that radiated light from its front, in the two lower corners where two colors represented. One of was red. One was green. Harry recognized them as two of the colors from the sky, but these where a lot more sharp and was shining way to bright. He trembled but managed to touch the front of his object with his fingers, touching the red part of the shining box. The appearance of the box changed immediately, now showing something else. Once again the object started vibrating. Harry now touched the green part. A new sense in him was activated as he heard sound come out of the object.

"Harry? ... Are you all right? Why haven't you been picking up? I've tried calling you for hours!"

The new sensation was strange to Harry, it was familiar but still very different from the things he'd experienced since he woke up. The sound didn't stop coming out of the ting. It was repeated over and over again. Like he would have to do something to make it stop repeating. It made him feel uneasy. He wondered if he was the only thing alive, or if there were more creatures that could feel out there. The numbness was growing stronger and the object he had held dropped to the ground as the cold took hold of him again and drew him closer to nothingness.

"Don't hang up, we've soon got your phone tracked so we can find you. Don't worry. It will be alright."

When Harry opened his eyes again, bright light came from everywhere and blinded him. He sealed his eyes shut again and opened them slowly this time. He found out that the terrible and numbing feeling of coldness was gone. It was replaced by warmth and a soft surface beneath him that felt much better than what he had been lying on before. Above him was no longer darkness with bright dots or streaks of dim colors. There was no longer any huge space above but instead something white that didn't shine, and it was close to him. He turned his head and used his eyes to try and find out where he was. He was in some kind of huge white box. Beside him a few meters away were an empty bed, Harry had no idea what this was though.

"Harry! You're awake!"

It was the same sound he had heard through the item that had been in his pocket. He turned his head towards it and yelled out in shock as he saw something totally knew appear in front of him. The sound hadn't come from the object he had found in his pocket. This thing was totally different. His fear slowly settling as the creature didn't seem to want to hurt him. Staring at the human he realized he had just created a sound. The being in front of him also made sounds, he added things up in his head and realized the creature was probably one similar to him.

"Stop staring at me like that Harry. Don't you remember me?"

Harry tried to respond to it somehow. Struggling to make some kind of sound. Maybe there was a way of asking this thing what the hell was going on. All he could get out where some weird grunts and groans that seemed to make the human as confused as Harry. The being seemed to change its face into an expression he didn't like. He got a feeling that it knew him somehow, and that it wasn't feeling very good. Perhaps the creature was feeling like he had felt when everything faded while he was at the other place. The creature then moved its limbs towards him to embrace him. It felt good, he imitated the other beings movements and the warmth spread though him. Then it let go of him and walked towards a rectangular shaped brown thing that opened and sealed behind it. He was alone in the giant white box again.

Hermione couldn't believe it. The healer had been right. Harry didn't remember anything; he was practically like a newborn. He didn't recognize her. He couldn't even form his own words.

The healers believed someone had managed to use the "obliviate-charm" on him. But not just removed one or two memories, but EVERYTHING he had ever remembered had been completely wiped out. Hermione felt her eyes fill with tears as she rushed down the corridors of St Mungo's. She had to do something about this. She had to talk to Ron, they would bring The Boy Who Lived back.

A few hours later Harry woke up to loud sounds in his white box. Someone was shouting at him. He shot his eyes open and stared up at the angry human with a terrified look on his face. This creature was different; he knew this one wanted to hurt him. Its face showed anger and hate. As to confirm his thoughts a knuckle suddenly flew at him and hit him right at the left side of his jaw, splitting his lip and making his head spin as he desperately tried to protect himself by putting his hands up to cover his face. But the other being grabbed his hands and held them down with one hand as the other hand formed into a fist and kept hitting him straight in the face. Why was it hurting him? Feelings of fear dwelled up in Harry, he started yelling and sobbing by the abuse. Tears streamed down his face and mixed with the blood.

"What the FUCK are you doing in my room? You idiot! I'm gonna beat the shit out of you Potter!"

Malfoy suddenly froze his movements. He watched the other boy as he squirmed and kicked beneath him. He was crying and trying to get away, why wasn't he hitting him back or yelling at him? When he let go of Potter he moved back towards the end of the bed and watched him with the most terrified eyes Malfoy had ever seen. This didn't seem like Potter. He would never act like this. At first he even though that he might have mistaken Potter for someone else. Maybe he had a twin he never told anyone about. But with a glance at his forehead he reassured himself that it was indeed him. None else had a scar like that.

"Why are you… what's wrong with you?" He asked, feeling something resembling pity surface within him. Why was he acting like this? He watched the terrified boy slowly lowering his hands from his face, but still looking like Draco would kill him at any moment. He was so confused. Potter hated him, and he wasn't a coward. No answer came from Potter, he glanced at his bedside table, he knew that the healers often forgot the files of their patients there. This was no exception; he picked the papers up and scrolled through the pages until he found what he was looking for.

_Condition: "Severe amnesia"_

Potter must have gotten in to an accident of some kind. Realization struck Malfoy. Potter had no idea who Malfoy was. To him he was a stranger who had just stormed into his room and started throwing fists at him. He had no idea what to say. Maybe he couldn't even understand what he was saying? What did "Severe amnesia" mean anyway? How severe can it be?

"Do you understand me?" He tried to articulate the words as much as possible. Maybe he had become partly deaf or something. The other boy finally started to loose up a little but didn't dare to move, as if scared more fists would be thrown at him if he did. But still no answers to Draco's questions seemed to come. He watched Potters knocked about face and wondered what the healers would think if they realized what Draco had done to him. He hurried into the toilet to grab some paper, water and soap, as soon as he walked towards Potter he moved back on the bed again with a frightened look on his face, looking like he would start to cry again at any second.

"I won't hurt you." Draco said reassuringly as he got closer to him one step at a time. "But you can't look like that Potter, I have to clean you off" As he once again stood right in front of the boy, Harry closed his eyes and tensed. He knelt down in front of Potter's bed so that he was at the right angle. Slowly he wet the paper and wiped it across his face as careful as possible. The boy didn't look as terrified anymore. He had probably realized Draco wouldn't hurt him. He had to keep Potter calm, if he screamed once more the healers would most likely storm through the door and find out what had been going on. He didn't even want to think about what would happen after that. They would kick him out and he would have nowhere to go, he would be forced to live on the streets or something horrible like that. He needed this treatment. He knew he wouldn't survive for long otherwise.

"Ok, I'm done." He watched Potters face without the blood smeared all over it. Bruises were still viewable all over, and his lip wouldn't stop bleeding. His green eyes where bloodshot and he still looked slightly panicked. If only he had his wand, he would have been able to heal him properly. A healer usually woke him up in the morning to serve him breakfast. He would have to come up with an excuse tomorrow as to why he was looking like that. Right now there was nothing more he could do.

He looked at the innocent boy. His hair messy, eyes nervous and wandering across Draco's features. He sat up with his back against the bedframe. He seemed calm. Potter must have understood it had been a mistake. He could probably think after all, amnesia didn't make people stupid.

Malfoy felt the panic slowly dissolving inside him. He suddenly felt exhausted, it was almost 2 am and he hadn't slept very well yesterday. And this hadn't exactly been a peaceful evening.

End of chapter one.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! This is my first fanfic ever. And english is not my first language.

Feel free to review no matter what you have to say! I'd love some constructive criticism so I know what to work on.

I'll continue with more chapters if anyone wants me to :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there! thanks so much for reading my story :) In this chapter there will be some serious torture and self-harm, just so you know.

* * *

_I'll take you there  
Set you free, let you go  
Then please come back to me  
_

* * *

Just as Draco had been expecting a healer entered his room by the morning. He was carrying two plates, on the plates where a couple of sandwiches, a bowl of yoghurt and a glass of orange juice. The healer looked nervous, his hands where shaking slightly. Making the bowl and glass clapper against the porcelain as he moved towards Draco's bedside.

He was probably new here. Working at the section for mentally ill patients couldn't be easy. Sometimes Draco heard other patients down the corridor, they had shouted out threats to the staff, telling them their friends outside the institution would find them and murder them in their sleep. Draco was relieved the new healer seemed nervous and inexperienced though. That meant it wouldn't be as hard to explain Potter's mess of a face. Before the Healer had even taken a look at the other boy he tried to come up with an explanation.

"He beat himself in his sleep, I…I didn't know what to do" He made himself sound weak and scared. He didn't like to sound pathetic. Even after losing everything in life, his pride was still there. But he had no choice. The healers gaze focused on the sleeping boy beside him and widened at his bruised face. He immediately pulled a wand out of his pocket and performed a number of spells to set his face right. The healer then looked at Malfoy with some doubt in his eyes.

Draco hurried to say something convincing. "I was scared that if I woke him up he would begin hitting me instead, it was probably just a nightmare though." The healer still didn't seem satisfied. He went over to Potter's bed and woke him up by grabbing his shoulder carefully.

Draco froze. If Potter woke up and saw him he would probably get that horrified face again, remembering what he had done to him yesterday. He watched the boy awake slowly. He opened his emerald eyes and looked confused at first, like he didn't know where he was. Then he looked straight at Draco. Panic built up inside of him, he closed his eyes and expected a scream or any sound that would reveal his abuse of him last night. There was nothing but silence though.

"Well, everything seems to be in order then. Don't forget about the visit to the woods next week, perhaps you could bring Mr. Potter as you leave, you two seem to get along quite well." With that he left, it wasn't until he heard the door shut behind him that he dared to open his eyes.

To his shock he didn't look terrified, he didn't seem scared at all. Harry was practically smiling at him. A big beaming smile was plastered on his face. Now that Potter's face where no longer beaten up or wrenched up in fear Draco thought that he looked quite good. He his eyes where like a jungle, there seemed to be life living in them. Like trees in the wind. He had a strong jawline and perfectly red lips. His dark hair looked messier then ever but it made him even more attractive. Draco knew he had preferred guys for a while now but he never thought he would like the way Potter looked, he had never even thought about his appearance at Hogwarts.

None had smiled at him like that for years. He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had. It caused a strange feeling to appear inside of him. The feeling spread out through his body and he felt warm. He couldn't help but smile back slightly, relieved that he didn't seem to have hurt the boy that bad. This version of Potter didn't hate him. He seemed to be quite fond of him really. Perhaps they could be friends after all. Draco tried to think of all the bad things the green-eyed boy had done to him, but even as he was still angry with all that, he couldn't focus that anger towards this Harry.

He would have to teach him some words, or he would have no way of communicating with his roommate. Draco moved his hand to point a finger at his chest.

"Draco." Harry didn't seem to understand. He gave him a confused look and scratched his head. Draco moved towards him, slowly so no flashbacks of yesterday would hit him.

"Harry." He said, and reached a finger towards the other boy to show his point. He noticed something changing in his eyes, but still looked confused as if he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Draco repeated himself, first pointing towards himself and then at Harry.

"Ah … arr … arry" The boy stuttered. Draco lit up in a smile to show him he was doing something right. At least he knew that smiles were a good thing. Draco then pointed at himself and repeated his name once more. Potter got it now, and he formed his lips to try and get out more sound.

"Dray … Draco" He got out, looking almost proud. Draco smiled at him again, it would probably not be that hard to teach him some words after all, he appeared to be able to pronounce them without much issues. He pointed at the plate of breakfast placed on his bedside table. He brought the plate to his lap and started eating. Just as he had been expecting Harry mimicked his movements and started eating his own breakfast as well. Harry's movements accelerated until he was practically throwing the food into his mouth. Draco couldn't help but let a chuckle out while watching Harrys overexcited face as he ate the remains of his breakfast.

When Harry was done he gave Draco a weird look, with emotions appearing on his face, varying from tensed to confused. He then pressed his hand down to his groin and looked at him again with the same expression.

Draco didn't know what to think. He felt his face turning red. What the hell was he doing? Was he? … To his relieve he realized Potter probably had to use the bathroom. He got up quickly and grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him up and then pushing him towards the bathroom. Once there he pulled the toilet-seat up and pointed towards the water at the bottom of it. Then went out and closed the door, he prayed that he wouldn't have to do anything else to make him understand.

He returned to his bed and sat down on it, waiting for Harry to get done. When Harry got out he didn't return to his own bed, instead he settled down on Draco's. Facing him with his legs pulled up and hands in his lap. Harry tilted his head to the side as he studied Draco closely, sometimes looking straight into his eyes, and then wandering down his body. Looking like he was trying to take it all in.

It made Draco feel uneasy and he decided to teach him some new words. Just as before he pointed towards different things in the room. Teaching him the name of one object at a time. Trying to teach him "yes" and "no" was a real challenge though. He did it the only way he could, by smiling and saying yes, then looking saddened and saying no. After teaching him almost all of the nouns in the room there was, he had gotten bored of it. He decided to teach him something more fun.

"Slytherin – yes, Gryffindor – no." The green-eyed boy repeated after him and Draco couldn't help but watch Harry with a smirk as he pronounced Gryffindor with a disgusted look on his face. He continued to teach him similar things (Ginny – no, Hermione – no, Ron – no) Even though he realized Potter probably had no idea what he was talking about it amused Draco to no end.

"Draco – yes" Harry said his name with a smile on his face, and Draco possibly felt something resembling happiness inside him. He hadn't felt like this for a very long time. He actually had a friend, a real friend. One who didn't keep him company just for his money or because of which family he came from. After the war he didn't even have those kinds of friends left. Harry had gone from his worst enemy to his only friend in just a day. Draco continued to teach him new words throughout the day. They took a break at lunch and dinner but otherwise Harry didn't seem to get bored.

The next day was similar at first. Draco taught him more words after breakfast. Trying to throw some grammar in there as well, but Harry didn't really get much of that. He tried to teach him the difference between a girl and a boy, but didn't know how to do that without embarrassing himself.

After lunch though, Harry had a visitor. It was Ginny this time. She knocked on the door then walked into the room. As soon as she saw Draco sitting in a bed at the end of the room she looked shocked, then threw him hateful glares. Draco glared back. Ginny then glanced over at Harry's bed, which was closer to her.

"Harry!" she ran up to him and embraced him in a tight hug. Harry mimicked her movements just as he had done when Hermione had hugged him. She let go and sat down beside him on the bed "Do you remember me? I'm Ginny." Harry looked up at her face like she was some kind of monster. Looking scared and disgusted at the same time.

"Ginny – no" He said, trying to push her away from him as she looked at him with a humiliated and panicked face. "Door" He said, pointing at her and then at the door. She walked towards the door, but stopped right outside and looked at Harry again. "I'll come back another time, maybe you need some time of your own right now" Just before she closed the door, Draco thought he could see tears in her eyes. He almost felt bad about what he had done. They didn't talk much more that day, Draco was reading a new book he had been given from one of the healers, and Harry walked around the room touching objects and saying their names out loud.

After dinner Draco felt his mood drop, he began thinking about all the things he was not supposed to be thinking about. There was nothing he could do about it though. He locked himself into the bathroom, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

"_You have to do this. Think of yourself as a machine, they don't have feelings. They never stop doing what they are supposed to do. You have to be just like that."_

_Draco walked into the chamber; there were two of them. They were strapped up against the wall, naked. Hands and feet bound hard and holding them in place. His body froze in horror when he saw what his Lord had done to them. Bruises where all over their bodies and tears had mixed with blood on their faces. Still streaming down as he watched them, but the room was quiet._

_Only when he had gotten closer did he realize. They couldn't open their mouths; their lips had been sealed together by stitches. Draco almost threw up. He had never felt so disgusted or scared in his life. The blood inside him felt thick and his face paled, he almost fainted as he brought out his wand. He just wanted it to be over with._

"_Crucio!" _

Draco felt his heartbeat accelerate fast, sharp pain pulsating through his body. He couldn't breathe. He was dying. He had to get this pain away. In desperation he threw his fists at the wall, trying to beat and scream the agony out of him. It didn't help. He knew what he had to do. In pure panic he aimed the punches at the corner of the mirror instead. It ripped his skin up, the blood flowing out of him together with some of the pain. He punched it again and again and again. The mirror broke at his fourth punch, falling to the floor and shattering into a million pieces. He fell to the floor and began sobbing loudly, starting to feel his aching and throbbing hand instead of the feelings inside of him.

Harry kicked the door again, with all force he had. Finally breaking through it. Draco appeared immediately in front of him. He was sitting on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees. One of his hands leaking something red that dripped down to the floor. His head hang low and sobs escaped from him. He looked up at Harry with an expression he had never seen before. It was empty. There was nothing in his eyes but grayness and death. Usually when he watched him there was something swimming in them, a bit like the sky he had watched at the first place. But it had died. He crashed down in front of him, feeling tears forming in his own eyes as well.

"Draco … Draco!" Harry yanked at his body to wake him up from the emptiness.

He did the only thing he could think of, he wanted to make Draco feel alive again. He did what Hermione and Ginny had taught him. He grabbed him in his arms and wrapped them around him. It was warm; it made Harry a little less scared. He didn't understand what was happening to him, but he knew it was not good. He kept his arms around him for a long time. After several seconds Draco finally mimicked his movements, and put his arms around him too.

Draco held the other boy tight, crying out on his shoulder trying to soothe himself and calm down. He didn't want to let go. He would have another panic attack if he did, pain would be back to choke him. Harry's arms around him tightened and they stayed like that for minutes, until Draco finally let go of him.

The blonde boy pointed his unharmed hand at his chest and looked at Harry with his eyes still leaking. "pain" He said between sobs. Then he lifted his hand, bloody and destroyed. Showing it to Potter "no pain".

They had sat down at the bathroom floor for a while, among blood and shattered pieces of mirror. Harry was trying to comfort him as he hovered between crying and calming. When Draco finally seemed to be all right, Harry went out of the room into the corridor to call on a healer.

He remember Harry's face looking worried as the healers carried him away on a stretcher, casting spells on his hand to heal it at the same time. The last time he had hurt himself this bad he had been locked into an isolated room for weeks, under constant observation. He wondered if he'd ever get to see Harry again.

* * *

_And here's where I'll wait  
Counting hours and the days  
I can't tear myself away_

* * *

End of Chapter 2

Please review! xO And thanks alot for the review on the first chapter :) made me really happy!


	3. Chapter 3

Some violence in this chapter but not as much as in the last one, This one is a little sad though q.q

* * *

Tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste

* * *

When Hermione heard what had happened to Ginny, she knew Draco had something to do with it. Why were they sharing the same room? Maybe it was Draco who cast the charm on Harry? What if it had been a part in his plan to turn Harry against his friends?

She realized soon enough though, that Malfoy couldn't have cast the charm, he had been locked inside St Mungo's for months. But he was involved somehow. She was certain of it.

She and Ginny had decided to go see Harry that day, to sort some things out. Ron couldn't come since they only allowed two visitors at a time. But Hermione thought Ron was scared of seeing the real Harry, and that was the reason he hadn't visited yet. Every time she talked about him he tried to avoid answering questions and instead turned the subject into something else. They had been best friends since forever. To see him like this would destroy him.

Hermione met up with Ginny outside their apartment in London, and together they apparated to the entrance of St Mungo's, walked in and waited for their turn in the waiting room. After several long minutes they finally got to the counter and granted permission to visit him. They paced off towards his room.

"I wonder what he will think of me this time." Ginny said, with despair showing across her face. Hermione tried to comfort her by putting her arm over her shoulders and squeezing her for a moment. "It will be okay. We just have to get to know him again. It will take some time, but we will make it. It's still Harry, his a good person." Hermione reassured her.

They were both relieved when they noticed Draco was gone, his bed was empty. Harry sat on the floor in the middle of the room, with a cellphone in his hand. There where pictures in it, and when he pressed the pictures a voice would tell what it was he saw. "A cat" a voice said through the phones speakers. Harry repeated the word to himself several times. Then jumped as he saw the two girls standing in his room. They were smiling and waving at him.

"Ginny" He hissed. Glaring hatefully at her. Ginny felt her body tense uncomfortably. She had changed her mind; she didn't want to be here. Harry hated her. She struggled and tried to come up with something to say.

"Why do you hate me so much?" She asked, looking straight at him. His face showed an intense anger. His fists curled and he got up to his feet.

"You … you …" He looked frustrated as he tried to get his message across, he couldn't find the right words. "You … hurt … I, I don't want … I …" He looked fierce, his fists curled in front of him as if he was ready for a fight.

"We would never hurt you Harry, did Draco tell you we would?" This time Hermione spoke, her voice had a more confident peal to it then Ginny's. Harry lowered his fists and suddenly looked desperate.

"Draco? Draco have pain … blood, where?" He looked worried, his eyes flickering from one girl to the other. "Friend … empty?" The girls had no idea what he was on about, though Hermione figured something must have happened to Draco, since he wasn't there.

"We are your friends, we want to help you, not hurt you." Granger smiled at him. She then brought something out of a pocket in her jacket. It was a photograph. She slowly walked up to Harry and handed it to him. He took it in his hand and watched it. It was a picture of Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione in the park. They were sitting on a bench under a tree, Harry looked happy in it. Harry was terrified as he realized it was himself he saw in the photo. He then turned his eyes from the photograph to look up at them again.

"Friends?" He was confused, sad and happy at the same time. Maybe these two didn't want to hurt him after all, but that would mean Draco was wrong about them. Maybe humans could think different things about each other. And things appeared different to each human being. He didn't know. But he had to believe these two. They didn't seem dangerous. And they had never hit him like Draco had. Even though he had looked like he regretted it afterwards.

"Yes Harry! We are friends." The two girls looked relieved and Ginny silently thanked Hermione for saving the situation, why hadn't she thought of that? But she didn't have time to wonder about that much more. A healer walked into the room and turned his face towards the boy "Harry, I'm glad to see you are getting to know your friends once again." He smiled at him and then turned to the girls and shook their hands. "We have a trip to the woods scheduled for now, maybe you two would like to join Harry?"

While on their way out of the hospital the girls talked about his third friend. Ron. And how he would like to visit him as well. Harry nodded and smiled; he couldn't believe he had so many friends. These seemed like good people. He didn't feel lonely anymore, as he had the last couple of days. He had been missing Draco terribly, and the incident at the bathroom replayed itself over and over again in his dreams. The red liquid had been streaming down his arm. In his dreams there also gushed blood out of his eyes as soon as they died. He didn't want to think about it.

When they got out the three of them and the healer paced in the direction of the woods. Apparently it was only a 10 minutes walk. While on their way the girls tried to explain as much as they could to Harry. Hogwarts, magic, his interests. Even his parents and his time at the Dursley's. Then Harry asked about Draco. They didn't have time to answer before the healer interrupted them.

"I have to go back now, but the other group should be by the start of the trail into the forest. Go with them and they will lead you to the camp." He turned around and hurried away back to the hospital.

Once they got there Harry thought he saw someone familiar. As soon as he realized it was Draco who stood there, he ran towards him and hugged him. Feeling very happy to see him again. And he seemed okay. He wasn't bleeding. Draco hugged him back then gave him a smirk.

"Glad to see you too, Harry." He grinned. Harry chuckled and then pulled at his shirt for him to follow, then walked up to Hermione and Ginny.

"Friends" Harry told. Then looked at him happily. Draco would notice that they were not going to hurt him, that he had been wrong about them. Just like Harry had. But to Harry's disappointment, Draco didn't look very eager to get to know them as he approached the girls.

"Weasley, Granger." He simply said. Watching the girls with a disgusted glare. "Here to torture me with your attendance?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you Malfoy? Why did you tell Harry that we were his enemies? His only enemy is YOU! You're the one who always hurt him, making fun of his dead parents, probably wishing he were dead. You hate him! And then you accuse US! How dare you?" Ginny was so angry she practically screamed at him. Getting closer to him with each word. She couldn't keep it inside. She had gotten hurt badly by Harry rejecting her. It was all Malfoy's fault.

Malfoy looked like he had gotten struck by lightning. He hadn't been prepared for that at all. Fury welled up inside him and but he couldn't get his words out. He didn't know why it upset him so much. He shouldn't care about Harry or any of his friends. He tried to calm down but a snake was crawling inside his body and it tightened around his neck to choke him.

"_Like a machine. Don't let them know what you're feeling. None cares about you anyway. You're alone. And that's how it's supposed to be. If you let anyone in, they will kill a part of you as soon as they leave. And they always do, none ever stays."_

"You're right, I hate him." He felt like he was in some kind of dream, not sure if he had actually said it or not. He then turned around and walked back to stand by his healer.

Harry had seen the anger in Ginny's eyes. The words she yelled out had killed him inside. He understood most of it. Did Draco hate him? He had thought of Draco as his best friend. Why would he have made fun of his dead parents? It hurt him; there was a burning sensation in his chest. He didn't know how to handle it. Then he had heard Draco's words. He had seen the hate in his eyes as he had said it. _Those three words had hurt him the most._ It felt like someone had impaled his heart and left it out to rot. There was no sign of regret on Draco's face.

It was evil. Pure evil. Harry could hardly breathe. Draco had been the most important thing in his life. He had taught him how to speak and showed his weaknesses to Harry. Harry had done his best to help him. He knew Draco was sad. He had wanted him to be alive - to be happy. He looked at Draco as he sat by his healer, emotionless. He walked up to him, made his hand into a fist a hit him straight in the face, as hard as he could. It felt good. He wanted him to bleed.

The healer beside Draco jumped as he realized what had just happened. He looked down at Draco with a shocked expression, then at Harry walking away. Then back to the blonde boy.

Draco quickly reached into the healer's pocket, before he had any change to prevent him. He found the wand and then aimed it at him.

"Obliviate"

It seemed to have worked, even though the wand hadn't been Draco's. Harry would definitely have been thrown out of the institution if any healer would have reported that. He quickly put the wand back into his pocket before he had realized where he was.

"What happened to your face?" He asked, still confused about what was going on.

"Fell down the stairs this morning, hurts like hell." Draco answered. The healer simply nodded.

He had deserved that punch from Harry. But he did this for both of them. He couldn't get hurt anymore by Harry or his friends. And Harry wouldn't have to be near him and watch him as he broke down to nothing. If they were friends, he would bring Harry down with him into his shit. Making them both miserable.

Draco and his healer had skipped the trip into the woods altogether, and walked back to the hospital as soon as his bruises had been healed. Draco had told him he felt sick and had to return. Once back at St. Mungo's he went straight to bed. In his dream he swallowed knifes, they cut him through the inside. Making him shake in pain. He didn't sleep very well.

The weeks passed. Draco was transferred to a different room. But he was alone this time. He thought he had done the right thing back then. That it would take everything away, that he wouldn't feel anything. These weeks turned out to be the worst of his life. He thought about Harry a lot. He would never forget him. His memories didn't fade. The snake didn't visit him anymore - he missed it. It had numbed him, stealing both happiness and emptiness from him.

All he could feel was the raw pain. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't hurt himself because then he would end up in the isolated room again. He decided he had to do the only thing he could. He would give up, put an end to it. There was something he needed to do first though; he had nothing to lose anyway. He waited until the lights in the corridor had been switched off.

The blonde slowly sneaked out of his room, and silently walked down the corridor. He took the stair down to the second floor; where his and Harry's room had been. He hoped he would still be there. He walked up to the door and pulled the handle down. It was locked. Fuck! He knocked at the door, nothing happened. He knocked again and again. Banging on the door harder and harder. To his horror the door suddenly swung open. And Harry Potter stood before him once more.

Harry rubbed his eyes, ready to yell at whoever had woken him up in the middle of the night. Shock hit him and he fell back as Draco's features appeared in the doorway. Pinching himself to make sure this wasn't a dream. He had never expected to see him again. But there he was, the blonde boy with the bluey-grey eyes. Anger and betrayal boiled up inside, all he could think of when he saw him was what he had done to him. How he had left him. How he had hated him. He wanted to slam the door right into his face.

But just as he was going to, the blonde suddenly moved forward. He grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him back up against the wall. Draco's eyes focused on him. Harry saw the sky in them. Something flowed beneath them. He watched the galaxies swirl with emotions.

"Harry … " His voice was so desperate, it was pleading. His gaze had started to flicker. Harry was scared he would turn empty for a second. But then he looked up at him again.

He saw tears forming in his eyes. "It's true that I made fun of you when we went to Hogwarts, I … I wanted to be friends with you. But there were no way we could" Draco's eyes where still focused on him. Their bodies where so close Harry could feel warmth radiate from him. "We were too different." Harry felt Draco's grip on him tighten. "But … Maybe different isn't so bad, maybe there is a way to start over. I think I like you Harry … I think I like you a lot"

Harry couldn't get any words out, even though he had gotten good at speaking. He blonde was practically begging him. He wanted to start over, but Harry had a hard time changing his mind.

"Not sure Draco … that I trust you." Harry looked down. The blonde's emotions were starting to affect him. Flashbacks of Draco smiling at him lit up his mind. He missed him; he had missed his best friend so bad. And he liked Draco too. Too much for his own good. He had been crying when the memories invaded him. He knew Draco was suffering. In his dreams he was sobbing in Harry's arms, he held him so tight. Keeping his demons away.

"Oh ... okay" Draco let go of him, looked at him once more before he turned away, walking out of the room he and Harry had spent their first days in. Tears streaming down his face as soon as he got out of the room and walked down the empty corridors by himself.

_Please don't leave me Harry, I need you, I'll never forget about you, I'll never forget. I love you so much._

Draco walked up the stairs again, to the top floor. He was crying so bad he hardly saw anything in front of him, trying to keep his sobs quiet to not wake anyone up. Then he heard someone's footsteps approaching. He started walking faster, trying to get away. As he did the other person's footsteps sped up until he realized he was running.

"Draco! Wait!" It was Harry's voice. Something struck Draco straight through his heart. He stagnated and then turned around. It really had been Harry. His pace slowing until he approached Draco and threw his arms around him. Draco almost fell backwards by the force of Harry's embrace. He was so warm. His heart sped up and he rested his head on the other boys shoulder. Holding him tight until Harry pulled away from him slowly and looked into his eyes.

"I like you too" Harry gave him a big smile. His eyes were shining in happiness. Draco has never seen him so happy. Maybe Harry liked him as much as he did? He wanted to find out. Draco then moved his face closer to him – slowly – until lips almost touched lips. Harry looked confused but he didn't pull away.

Draco took his chance and crashed his lips into Harry's. Harry gasped against him and tensed up for a while before he finally relaxed. Draco felt the other boy's lips part slightly and Draco slid his tongue into his mouth. Touching his tongue with his own. Draco moved his hands to the other boy's neck, pulling him closer. He felt Harry's tongue react to his treatment and he stroked it against his. A beam of sunlight lit up his inner hollowness, replacing his emptiness.

_Harry had come back. He cared. He had forgiven him._

Draco pulled away slowly. Then watched the other boy. "That's called kissing." He whispered, trying to keep his ridiculously big smile at bay. The green-eyed boy looked ecstatic.

"I like kissing"

* * *

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

* * *

End of Chapter 3

Thanks alot for the reviews on the previous chapter! :D  
I don't think this is the end, can't say for sure though xD If I write another chapter it will be about how how Ginny, Hermione and Ron react to the news of Harry and Draco.  
Please review this chapter aswell! it makes feel like I am not wasting my time when I should be studying lmao


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